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Stop Taking It Personally and Start Living Bodaciously
By: Mary Foley
We
can all remember a time when we took it personally, right? We spent all
this time, energy, and emotion on processing how we felt when someone
slighted us, what we wished we'd said, and what, if anything, we were
going to do about it. And most of the time when it was over and we were
slumped in out chair feeling exhausted, needing to face a long list of
things still to get done, we wish we'd spent our time on something
else, something we cared more about, something more productive.
Amazingly,
my own experience has shown me that throughout my day people aren't
going around thinking about MY feelings! They're not saying, "Gee, when
I call Mary on the phone, when I send her an e-mail, when I see her in
later today, how is she going to feel about what I say or do?" Nooooo,
they're just doing their thing! Still, how often have I reacted to
someone or something has said or done when it was delivered in anything
less than a positive tone? I mean, how rude, right?
At one point
in my AOL career I decided to make big internal move from hard-earned
position at the call center manager of 250 people to join the human
resources team to head up the company's first ever corporate training
group. I remember a few months after making the move the company held a
big party where I ran into a customer service rep who used to work for
me.
We started chatting and he remarked, "Mary, I don't
understand why you took this new job. I mean you were doing so well in
the call center and you could have gone up and up. It doesn't make
sense." At first I was shocked and started to take it personally. Was
he right? Did I make a mistake to redirect my career? Were other people
thinking that bad of me as well? How can he be so rude and mean to me,
especially in front of all these people? My mind started racing with
questions that just got worse and worse and worse.
Then, somehow
I caught myself with a question that stopped the internal rampage. "How
come this guy thinks he knows more about what's best for me than I do?"
In that moment I decided that I didn't need to justify my career move
to anyone but myself. I knew why I made the career move and knew in my
heart of hearts it was the best thing for me.
To response, I
realized that I only needed to make a simple statement. So, I replied,
"You know, I think it was the best move for me", exited myself from the
conversation, and moved on. No explanation, no details, just a
statement of my truth.
This is what Bodacious Women do. When
someone says or does something that sparks an internal reaction, when
you start to take it personally, you hesitate and create a few seconds
of delay to ask yourself simple questions like "Is this something I
ought to pay attention to? Does it really have merit?" It's amazing
when we create a few seconds of delay and ask such questions we often
answer ourselves with "No, not enough" and let it go.
Certainly,
there are those times when we think, "Well, I may not take this
personally, but I need to say something, I need to do something to
speak my mind and set the record straight." Bodacious Women recognize
this need and make the phone call, write the e-mail, go see the person,
or do whatever they believe is appropriate. And, then, when that's
done, they still let it go. They don't let the situation take away
their precious energy which they need for what they truly cherish.
Creating
the habit of not taking it personally isn't easy, but it's so worth it.
Because if you do, you will save yourself a lot of time, a lot of
frustration, and maybe even a little heartache. So, right now, right
this very minute decide to stop taking it personally and start taking
it bodaciously. You'll be glad you did!
Copyright (c) 2007 Mary Foley
Article Source: http://www.articlerich.com
Mary
Foley, author of “Bodacious! Woman: Outrageously in Charge of Your Life
and Lovin’ It!” and founder of the Bodacious Women’s Club, inspires
women to be courageously in charge of their lives. You can be inspired,
too! Get the free audio “Live Like Your Nail Color!” today at www.BodaciousWomensClub.com
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* Get more than one
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* Keep a list of transportation alternatives.
* Personal security alarms.
* Choose second floor as
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* Plan a route of escape in the event of fire.
* Make an effort to get to
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Exchange phone numbers.
* Use a necklace similar to
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