Money and Finance

The Meaning of Money- The Fallout of Parental Irresponsibility
By Blondie L. Clayton

Have you been searching for the answer to your money problems? Does having money make you happy, or sad? Do you need to get out of debt but don’t know where to start? Or, are you doing well financially, yet you feel lonely and unfulfilled? Are you in a financial rut? Is your self-worth based on things you possess? What does God say about work?

Your experiences with money even as a child may have been positive or negative. Positive experiences could be you had lack growing up your mother and father always seemed to give you what you wanted, yielded to your demands. Perhaps they gave you the impression money is not and will never be a problem.

How many times have I encountered young people trying to break away from the influence of their parents money. What did those parents do? They forgot that child would one day need to make their way in the world, just like they did, but they didn’t want them to go through what they went through.

The question I would ask mom or dad, what did those tough times make you into? More than likely they were the catalyst that made you strive to be better, to have more, to do more with your talents. Don’t you think your children deserve the same?

Give them helping hands along the way but the greatest gift you can give is the gift of allowing them to fly on their own wings. Some children can be raised with a silver spoon and assert their independence in spite of mom or dad. Isn’t it great to know that if they really need you, mom or dad, are there but that you, mom and dad, would have the wisdom to know when to let them fail and learn the valuable lessons of life and to come into their own value, rather than taking that away from them.

Negative experiences with the green stuff could become emotional attachments because having it evokes feelings of happiness or sadness when you have it or don’t have it. If you grew up in a family where money was an issue for survival; for the necessities of life, you might be a hoarder, tightwad, or very frugal with your spending. Even if you came into an inheritance or worked your way into a nice living, you might still feel like you must watch every penny because you remember what it was like not having money.

Other negative feelings toward money may be associated with how you related to money given to you and for what reason it was given. For example, if money was used to lure you into rape or molestation, your association with money subconsciously could be that money is dirty. If that is the case these feelings that money is dirty could affect your money management, your career choices and financial progress.

Then there is the spiritual side to money, where one’s religious practices maybe misunderstood to believe that money is the root of all evil and that having too much makes you ungodly, that God would prefer you to be poor and humble.

The truth is, the love of money is the root of all evil and unless you understand what money is and is not, then you will find yourself controlled by money, rather than using money for the purpose it was intended. . . a tool.

Each of us have developed our own relationship with money. That relationship is either positive or negative. Regardless of whether it is positive or negative, whatever your money script is and if money is not working the way it is intended in your life that can be changed; that is, if you choose to make the change.

If you are a parent who is stifling your son or daughter’s independence by controlling them with the wealth you have built to provide a good life for your children, perhaps you need to re-think how you are using your money. Is it to keep your son or daughter coming back to you, under your thumb? Or are you asserting yourself as their savior.

Many children who grow up in families where money is used to control them, end up rebellious and do everything to make this controlling parent pay, even to embarrass the parent. What you are really saying to that child, you have no real worth except what I give you with the money I have.

On the other hand if you grew up in an environment with lack, you will do all you can to never be in that spot again. You forget that being in that place, gave you drive and determination, which you ultimately steal from your children, and you wonder why they are not motivated because there is nothing to really strive for. This lack can have another generational impact: you teach your children and they learn all they can about being frugal, investing and when they have their children they become lax and create the same type of behavior as the child born with the so called silver spoon in their mouth.

Isn’t it a parent’s responsibility to raise children that will be productive, give back and strengthen our communities? Have we as parent’s become a selfish, self centered generation? Do we think that we can produce responsible children when we have not set boundaries and values and particularly respect for those around us? Wouldn’t you like to know that you have provided the basis for an adult who can hold their own, one that you can be proud of, even when you’re not here?

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